Bickering and Fighting and Strife! Oh My!


Are you discouraged when your children cannot get along? Are you tired of the bickering and fighting? Does your home seem out of control?
Be encouraged…there is hope!

1.) You are not alone.

We feel better when we know we are not alone. It seems to lessen our despair over our own situation when we learn we aren’t the only ones going through it. It’s a relief and a release when we can laugh with a group of Moms over our crazy day or cry and pray with a friend over our fears and frustrations. Someone else has been there, done that. God created us with a need for fellowship, companionship. Mainly, fellowship with Him, but with one another as well. Why else would He have filled His Word with so much Scripture concerning our relationships with others?

If you have conflict in your home, maybe it will help you to know, so does the Happy Scott Family. Oh my! Some days our girls seem to be at each other all day long. And some days, I don’t handle the conflicts well and I am barking at the kids and being impatient. By days’ end I can be discouraged and feeling defeated.

I Corinthians 10:13 says, There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man…In other words, you’re not alone! We all have similar problems. Isn’t it good to know you are not alone?

    2.) Look at the conflicts in a whole new light.

    When I approach problems with an eternal perspective, they become opportunities! Opportunities for practicing God’s ways instead of the world’s ways (satan’s ways).

    Doing good and right takes practice, discipline. Yes, God’s Holy Spirit lives in us when we are born again and we can be filled with His power, but we are required to choose to do right. He created us with our own free will. He doesn’t just wave a magic wand and bing, we behave ourselves. Ha! Don’t we wish!

    Throughout the Bible He has written commandmandments He wants us to willingly obey. It is our choice. Therefore, when conflicts and problems arise, and we know they show up often, it is an opportunity for us to put God’s Word to practice.

    Mothers, conflict gives us the chance to practice God’s ways, and it is also our chance to teach our children His ways! You may have heard the term, “teachable moments”. Conflicts have the potential to destroy our family or they can be opportunities for building character, building up our family, and for teaching us that we can trust God and His Word. Oh how I know that’s easier said than done! Conflicts are set on fire with ugly pride and nasty emotions. But, it can be done if we are willing.

    3.)The Bible tells us what to do

    We know we are not alone and we can see conflict as an opportunity, so let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of what to do when…dunt-dunt-dunnnn…it happens…they’re fighting…again.

    The Bible is our go-to manual and our workbook! All through the Bible there are many verses to read, teach, memorize, and copy and post on the walls and doorways of our house that will equip us with solutions to the arguments, fights, bickering, and tiffs encountered on a daily basis.

    Learn together verses about…
    *lying
    *talebearing (being a tattle-tale)
    *gossip
    *hearing and receiving instruction
    *getting wisdom
    *corrupt communication
    *sweet words
    *edifying
    *deferring to others
    *being kind
    *forgiving
    *things to think on

    Some places to start on this list would be Psalms, Proverbs, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians.

    No matter what age, it is fun to…
    *read through a book of the Bible together, a chapter a day

    *as often as possible read through the book of Proverbs through in a month

    *go on a hunt for topics in the Bible

    *take some of the verses you are learning and do a Sword Drill

    *put up a sticker chart or set rewards & memorize several verses on particular issues

    *have your child keep a notebook of favorite verses, mottos and quotes and organize them by topic

    A mini-drama for a “What Does This Look Like in Real Life” segment:

    Two children are fighting about “what shade of green the grass is”. This is not an actual topic that has been fought over at our house (yet), but some just as trivial have occurred. One time four of our girls were in a very emotional battle over the ownership of. a. broken. paper. clip.
    True story.
    Not even kidding.

    So, when you see there’s a problem, reach for the Truth and put It to practice. Take the pair, or group, (insert smiley) of them over to the index cards posted on the doorway and have them take turns reading out loud, for example:

    * Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from troubles.

    * Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

    Briefly explain or review with them that keeping your mouth and tongue means to close it, to stop talking and their souls will be protected from trouble. The trouble will stop. Explain that talking softly instead of yelling defuses or calms their own anger and can also calm their sister’s anger, but speaking more harshly or loud will only make the fighting worse. And usually I have them walk through a “do-over” to practice how they could have handled the matter God’s way, correctly.

    Periodically, ask your child(ren) if they remember what the Bible says about arguing, talebearing, deferring to others, or what does God love and what does God hate? Encourage your children that God’s ways always work and God never fails!

    Children fuss and fight, grown-ups lose their cool. It’s not what we should do, or what we want to do, but it is still what we are prone to do.

    I’m so grateful to The Lord for forgiveness, for His blood that washed away my sin, for His Spirit living within me and The Bible that shows me how to live for Him each day!

    I pray right now that if you do not personally know Jesus that you would simply call out to Him right where you are and let Him in your heart, your life and in your home! I’m praying for you!

    Walking with Jesus,
    Melissa

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